Finding My Heart in the Heat: A Western Woman's Journey with Bikram Yoga
When my husband Chris gifted me Bikram Choudhury's book Bikram Yoga: The Guru Behind Hot Yoga Shows the Way to Radiant Health and Personal Fulfilment, I didn't expect it to mirror back everything I'd been missing in my life. But there it was, on every page: the six-inch gap between my heart and mind that I'd been living with for decades.
The Gap Between Heart and Mind
I'm a product of the West in every sense. Raised in a secular household where spirituality was ignored—perhaps even denied—I developed a razor-sharp analytical mind through years of study. Traditional Western religion felt oppressive and difficult to relate to. Like many people of my generation, I assumed all religions were just systems of social control, and I was suspicious of anyone trying to educate me about "God."
But Bikram's book offered something different: the idea that the divine lives within me (and beyond me), and that the journey to connect with it is deeply personal. This wasn't about dogma or control—it was about bridging that painful gap between an overpowering mind and an unheard heart.
My mind has always felt like a powerful weapon. My heart? Quietly ignored, barely given a voice. This book showed me a new way forward: better control of my mind (and ego) and greater liberation of my powerful heart through yoga.
The Guru Paradox
Of everything in Bikram's life story, one aspect struck me most profoundly: the concept of the guru.
The idea of having complete faith in another person and following their will without question is almost antithetical to everything I am. As a woman raised in the 1970s and 80s, independence and self-reliance weren't just values—they were hard-won rights that needed protecting. My mother, a strong feminist, ensured that her three daughters could think for ourselves, question everything, and make our own decisions.
"If someone tells you to jump off a cliff, would you?" she'd ask, teaching us never to be blind followers.
When Bikram writes about doing anything his guru asked without question, I felt an internal resistance. Yet through my 30-year relationship with Chris—who I met at 17 and married at 21—I've learned that trust and faith in another person can be beautiful when built on love and openness.
Bikram's suggestion to become my own guru? That feels right. Building trust in myself, bringing my mind closer to my heart and spirit—this is a path I can walk.
The Practice Has Shifted
Six months ago, if you'd asked me which postures I needed to work on, I would have chosen something physically demanding. Standing Bow Pulling Pose, probably—something to feed my ego and make me look good from the outside in.
But here's what I'm learning through my yoga teacher training: practice from the inside out changes everything.
My yoga practice has transformed from a physical workout into a holistic wellbeing approach. I now recognize yoga as a place to build my mind-body-spirit connection. It's not about looking good or even just feeling great because I've gotten a good workout in. It's about finding peace. Calming my mind. Connecting with something deeper.
So my real answer? The postures I most need to focus on are the ones for stress relief: breathing exercises and savasana. These are my challenges now. I need to build on these outside of class too, through meditation and inner focus. I need to quiet my mind, silence my self-critique and perfectionism, and shift more fully from outside-in to inside-out practice.
A Western Woman's Dis-ease
Bikram sees the West clearly: we have everything material yet nothing real. We're lost, unhappy, searching. From my personal experience, he's absolutely right.
I've spent my entire life living in my mind, pushed by ego. The messages about independence and self-reliance led me to work too hard, stress too much, and play too hard. My internal drive to be a good mother pushed me further. I sacrificed myself consistently—my body, my heart, my entire self came last.
For years and years.
I climbed the career ladder while injuring my body, harming my metabolism, and honing a mind exceptionally good at seeing the negative. I never treated my body as the temple it is, never honored the divine within me.
How sad. This isn't how I want to be.
But here's the beautiful truth Bikram stresses: it's not too late.
The Path Forward
Bikram's ultimate message is that the destination of human life is mental happiness and peace through the realization of love. This is universal truth. Most of us in the West just don't understand or practice it.
I want great self-love. I want faith in myself, in my own godliness, in my connection to the divine. I can see the pathway will be long, with many hurdles—patterns and ways of being that need rebuilding. But I'm committed to keeping my resolve strong.
Even though many of Bikram's ideas seem alien to me, and I'm not sure I'd relate to the man himself, what he offers at the core of his book is hugely valuable to people like me.
I feel fortunate to have found Bikram Yoga as a practice. I feel blessed to be on this teacher training course, learning to unite mind, body, and spirit in the heated room.
The journey from head to heart is only six inches, but for many of us, it's the longest distance we'll ever travel.
Are you on a similar journey? Have you discovered that gap between mind and heart in your own life? I'd love to hear your story in the comments below.
