How to Practice Self Compassion on the Mat
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Sharon Salzberg
Most think of self compassion as simply loving yourself and being kind to yourself, and yes of course there is truth in that, however it goes deeper.
When you practise self compassion you create a sense of certainty and safety within you that allows you to confront yourself and make positive changes in your life. Rather than being harsh and critical with yourself, you will find it ignites you to make changes
Your yoga mat is the perfect place to start to practise and experience self compassion. Practiced mindfully and intentionally yoga gives you the opportunity to explore and face your deepest self and move through the world in new ways.
Here are 3 steps to help you to cultivate more self compàssion in your practise:
Become the observer
Developing self compassion through your yoga practise is to soften and release expectations that you have of yourself through mind, body and spirit. In your practise observe yourself in a posture, observe what occurs. Be aware if you are pushing and pulling your body in and out of postures and trying to force something to happen. Observe what happens when you find a pose challenging or fall out, listen to your body and learn to observe your body and mind’s response to your practise and choose compassion for whatever is going on.
It’s not the advanced yoga pose that brings us the real contentment. There is deeper joy when you tune into your body and your wisdom with kindness, compassion and patience.
Compassion for your Inner critic
The practice of yoga is an opportunity to develop a deeper awareness of yourself, the key is to tune into the heart and go inwards. It’s so easy to look at others and compare yourself, and judge how advanced you are or not and what others are doing or not doing. Believe it or not the competitive streak can arise in yoga especially if you are a high achiever.
The more you can focus your attention inwards the quieter your inner critic will become. That voice that rises up inside of you to tell you, “you can’t, you’re too weak, you’re not strong enough….will eventually start to fade as you lean into more compassionate ways of doing things.
Often when you first start doing yoga you can have an illusion of what it really is, thinking that achieving the pose is the most important thing and it’s natural that you want to try to do everything right, which is ultimately exhausting. Always remember, there is no one watching you, scoring your every yoga pose...let go of the judgment and lean into what is. When those critical thoughts arise, pause and allow yourself the space to accept the present moment as it is, the good and the bad. The more you do this the more you can rewire your brain. In fact you can write new positive affirmations that you have ready for when the negative patterns come to play.
When you can adopt the practise of the observer and create space to listen, you will begin to notice how you speak to yourself and how you treat yourself, on and off the mat.
Try to practise with your eyes closed
Try out practising yoga with your eyes closed. You turn your attention inwards, letting go of the aesthetics of a pose and becoming more aware of how the pose feels on the inside. Start to feel into your muscles and bones, ligaments and sensations. Take note of the emotions that come up and allow yourself to feel deeper into the pose. This is a great practise to go beyond asana and delve deeper within yourself, allowing you to understand and connect with yourself in a different way during your practise.
When you do asana, pranayama, meditation, and other yoga practices, you learn to observe and befriend your body and mind, developing a deeper awareness and self compassion becomes the result of this.
In the Yoga sutras, Patanjali teaching of compassion 1.33:
Maitri karuna mudita upeksanam sukha duhkha punya apunya visayanam bhavanatah cittaprasadanam.
“Through cultivation of friendliness, compassion, joy and indifference to pleasure and pain, virtue and vice respectively, the consciousness becomes favourably disposed, serene and benevolent.” ~Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra I.33
Pantalji states that the journey of self-transformation requires patience and compassion, it doesn’t happen instantaneously. Learn to overcome any negative thoughts one by one. Be gentle with yourself and accept your setbacks and where you are at, on and off the mat with compassion and by doing so you will lead a much better and happier life.
The key to self compassion is treating yourself the way you would a friend. It is being gentle and kind to yourself and requires you to accept the imperfections of the self and the ability to see opportunities for growth and learning from your mistakes. Practising self compassion on the mat will make a difference in your daily life. Once we stop striving and trying to be someone and get somewhere, it is then that we can lean into the magic of each pose and the present moment, where true yoga exists.
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